As I reflect on the 10th anniversary of 9/11 and the dark day it was, I feel that as a country we shuld counter the darkness by celebrating and embrassing our diversity. We should remember our loses with due respect and embrace our gains w/ much appreciation. My heart goes out to all those whose lives were senslessly lost 10 years ago on this day n the friends n family they had left behind. Shall we never see another horror like this again, shall we all evolve too far and too well from such barberism and learn that love, acceptance and understanding is the only way to ever peacefully coexist with eachother.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
My condolences go out to the friends and family of Officer Fontes of Kapolei HPD. This scenseless tragedy is a lesson to all of us that we need to get our kids back to the simple humbleness and respect for authority. Officer Fontes death by James Dorsey Mancao makes me think of how todays youth has no respect for authority. When I was a kid, a good majority of us would have a change of demeanor when we saw police present. We'd become meek, quiet and humble little mice not wanting any negative attention from near by police, we took extra care of our behavior. Now, kids are the exact opposite, they get wild, crazy, obvious, loud, challenging and defiant. They do not want the fear the generations before had traditionally for police, kids now want to fight against it. Why cant we have a happy medium w/ police and other authorities, respect, not fear, authority w/ humbleness, reverance w/ out cowering? I do know that the for children w/ mental dissabilities, like my son, impulse control can be a very difficult thing. Add to that difficulty the pressure of knowing that police is near, the blue lights, feeling other peoples tension around them and yes, an autistic child can loose it and all heck breaks loose. That could have been the case for James Dorsey Mancao. If that is the case, then as a single mom of an autistic child I feel for the Mancao's too. It is sad that what your child has done is beyond screatches, screams, squeeles and crazy movements when he saw the police. Then again, we do not know if mental disability was the case for James Dorsey Mancao and his killing of Off Fontes could have been a volitle reaction to guilt that ends up creating more guilt.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Growing up in a small town I have seen my fare share of busybodies. If I threw a stone I'd hit a busybody. A busybody, aka "noseylani" by most locals here or in the native Hawaiian language it is "niele", is an individual that doesn't seem to know the boundaries when it comes to "malama kuliana" or minding their own business or they just can't keep their nose out where it doesn't belong. Those who are "niele" are so for 9 different reasons, therefore there are 9 different "noseylani" types as follows:
1) They have no life of their own, but you seem to have one. So they'll latch on to meddling into yours cuz it seems so darn interesting. This is called a "paracitic busybody." Nothing to do with Paris Hilton folks.
2) Then there is the "narsicistic busybody" or the "pious busybody". These hollier-then-thow noseylanies always feel the need to be in control of others lives. They particularly love to bare down on to those they despise or look down at because your so darn wrong and their so self-riteously right. These busybodies feel their way is the one and only true way to live. They are the worlds saving crusader and we must all pucker up when they bend over.
3) There are busybodies that mind the affairs of others because they feel they have no control over their own. For some very odd reason this disempowered busybody feels it much simpler to control others lives much better then their own. They seize the power-n-control moment by meddling into others lives as theirs spiral constantly out of control. These individuals I like to call the"distransferance busybody".
4) Then there is the busybody that just needs to control the comings, goings and every breath of everyone, everything and anything around them. They feel if they relax for one second all hell will break loose. They are the hot mess we just feel a heart attack coming on just thinking about. They feel it their life calling to mind others lives because if they don't take charge nothing will be done and everyone around them doesn't know better. Everyone is irresponsible, its just written on all their faces. These rampant busybodies are what I call the "OCD busybody" aka "control-freaks".
5) Then there are those sick and sadistic busybodies that just meddle in our lives not out of care, love nor control but just to simply f$%* with us. These are the sick dirty bastards that just want to see us pi$$ed off or squirming. They want to do us in, mess us up and over. This kind of busybodying is done by someone who isn't all there in the head (you know,one chip short of a hard drive). This is what I call the "busybody-psycho-b!%@#".
6) Then there is the busybody who is a jealous wench. She meddles and toys with ones life because she wants what they do, have, got or are, etc. She thinks they have things either too easey or they have more then they deserve. This busybody feels that everyone either needs to be just as good or below her in this world and its her natural compulsion to knock you off the pedestal she sees you unrightfully on in her mind. I like to call this the "green-eyed busybody". No offense to green eyed folks.
7) Then there is the "manipulative busybody" that likes to pry into other peoples business for their own personal gaines. These sly busybody types may come across as sweet, caring, or interested folk giving you their time, care and ear, but realy their just using you. They can be using you to see what you can give them in ways of information, money, talents, abilities as well as inteligence quotient and they are not always trying to get to the core of you but sometimes your friends and family or more as well.
8) Then there are the busybodies that do their craft out of love and concern. Their maternal core just worries all the time for everyones future, wellbeing and safety even though their medlings can prove to be more damage then good too irritating, inappropriate or over-the-top at times. These busybodies I like to call "hanai busybodies", they can also take on other titles such as "chopper moms", "smother mothers", "smother-in-law" or in the south sometimes "Madea". Hmmm hm!
9) Then there is the garden variety lower level noseylanies that do not have the same motivations and intent as the above mentioned busybodies but is one and doesn't even know she is doing it and doesn't mean harm. She can be the old little lady next door who lives alone and has the time and curiousity to notice the business of those around them but craves the attention and has the boredom to so willingly be a reporter of that such business. As mentioned before, this busybody has no negative intentions like the above mentioned types, she doesn't even know she is being a busybody and this is an old habbit, part of her nature. You do have to watch yourself around this busybody type though. You don't want to make yourself the hottopic to this busybodys' coffee clutch or knitting circle. Just have some of her butterbrickle on her plastic covered couch and pet some of her cats as she tells you about your neighbor who forgets to shut their curtains when they jazzercise in their underware. This busybody type is known as the "nosey old biddy" or the "busybody ol grandma". The "nosey old biddy" type though can be very useful in many ways. They can tell you if your hot neighbor down the street has become single to questioning strangers lurking about in a suspicious manner.
It's something how an old run-of-the-mill charector type can have so many different types or groups that have so many different reasonings and motives behind them. A busybody can also have trates of more then one type and can be a combo. For example, I know many older women who perfectly fits busybody type #8, "busybody ol grandma", my mom can be #7, "smother mother" or I have a building manager that has a horrible cocktail of busybodies #1-5 and 7. Everyone knows a busybody or two, or three or thousands, and they can easily fit into any type or types. As uncomfortable as they can be, some much more then others, the key is to know what you are dealing with so you can deal with them, even though while sometimes dealing with a busybody we can be too caught up in emotional reaction to clearly see what's behind all their nieleness. So...Got busybodies?